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Happy 2010. Near the end of 2009, a momentous year of change and growth for me, I decided to join my local Art Students League. It felt like such a spur of the moment thing for me to do. There is a yearly fee, and members pay for the art classes on top of that. I wiffle-waffled and stammered my way through handing my debit card to the receptionist/admin at the League. “Well, this is it! I’m just going to do it.” I thought, “Once I dive deep enough to fork out money for a membership fee, I’ll have to take the classes, too.”
I took my first two uninstructed life drawing classes (which I used to regularly attend before I had children) before Christmas and last night I took my first watercolor painting class. *Hint, I’m terrified of painting in color.* I’ve been a graphite portraiture artist for decades, and rarely ventured into the world of color.
So, I dove deep. This is an investment for me. Each class is THREE hours! I have children at home for Pete’s sake! And then I’ll have to buy all my own art supplies! What was I thinking?
I’ll tell you what I was thinking.
I’ve been blessed with a talent I do not use. I have a yearning in my heart to engage in the art of fine art, because when I begin the journey, my spirit soars. At church this year, I heard the message many times that if I have a God-given talent and suppress it, the act of suppressing will eat away at my soul/spirit. During Amy Ahler’s Women Masters series of teleconferences this summer, an overwhelming theme was “do what you’re called to do,” “do the thing that makes you happy, and go for your dreams.” Lack of money and rationalizations rarely offer a valid excuse for stuffing our passion away in the underbrush of our psyche.
So, I had a chat with my inner mean girl. She said that artists are a dime a dozen. She said that you just have to look at Etsy web site to see that artists struggle to sell their art and to make ends meet. My inner mean girl is convinced I should wait until all the children are self sufficient and off on their own before I indulge in my own passions. In fact, that’s why I was waiting all these years. I was busy.
Okay, enough’s enough. This blog post is about living on purpose, my way. Let’s just wait and see if I can make a living by living on purpose. At the very least, I’ll enjoy the journey!
4 comments
Carol King says:
January 7, 2010 at 10:08 am (UTC -7 )
Hi Jessica, fantastic post. I love it that you are following your hearts desires and putting your talents to good use.
“Inner Mean Girl” LOL! I love that, I certainly have one of those, although she does not visit me as much as she used to. Doing what you love even though to others it may not seem “logical” is simply the best thing we can do for ourselves and the rewards are great. That is why I threw away part of my business and started over again.
I am sure you will find much joy and abundance in 2010 by following your passion.
BTW please visit my new blog when you get a chance I would love to hear your opinion.
Jessica says:
January 7, 2010 at 12:39 pm (UTC -7 )
I have started over in my life many times, and several of these were for pure adventure.
So, starting 2010, I’m taking more genuine care of myself by not considering art to be an indulgence. I caught the self-sacrificing mommy bug and rationalized why I shouldn’t do things for myself, including hair, nails, makeup, skin care, developing my passions. (sheesh, by that description of me, I should look like a street person but I don’t. Really.)
Marjory says:
January 10, 2010 at 7:16 pm (UTC -7 )
Dear Jessica,
art is not an indulgence, it is a necessity like air or water. It feeds our beings in ways that nourish forgotten corners of our hearts until they start coming ALIVE. Congrats for feeling your call and giving yourself to it, for surrendering to the forces of the universe within you.
Enjoy the ride!!
Marjory
Jessica says:
January 10, 2010 at 7:44 pm (UTC -7 )
Dear Marjory, thank you, I will enjoy the ride.