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Self care for moms

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April 7, 2010

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I’d like to thank Mary Kay of Spa for Your Soul Coaching for yesterday’s chat. We discussed issues related to parenting and step-parenting. I’ve been a step-parent for about fourteen years. Mary Kay is an encouraging spirit and we found ourselves talking about many topics. When I shared my story-saga of step-parenting she suggested I have something that others in my position don’t: experience in what works and what doesn’t work. She shone a light in a direction I’d never looked by suggesting that novice step-parents may like to hear my story. I’ll take that advice to heart, Mary Kay. She put it like this: “Make your mess the message,” meaning that while my learning curve may be sloppy and I may have made some mistakes with my parenting decisions, I still have something to offer to first time step parents.

One topic we covered was the obvious issue about what defines family. One of my stepsons went through a phase where he insisted I wasn’t family to him, even though I’d been step-parenting him well over a decade.  He was a young teen and quite impulsive.  Mary Kay’s intuitive comment on that: “It is much easier for him to hurt you by lashing out than to feel his own pain.” Teens go the path of least resistance. A wise step parent will see this and take a step back rather than engage in a verbal battle over who is family to whom.

Mary Kay’s Spa For Your Soul main site Bringing calm and comfort to Mom’s busy life. Take a look around! She has a 5-day e-course, a blog, and a coaching business targeted to moms. Remember, moms, self-care is very important to your well being and the well being of your whole family! I found that out yesterday. That one hour chat with a coach was self care time for ME, and Mary Kay urged me to give myself credit for everything I’ve accomplished during my story-saga of step-parenting. Aaah, I pat me on the back.

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2 comments

  1. Mary Kay Aide says:

    April 8, 2010 at 8:24 pm (UTC -7 )

    Thanks so much for the kind words. I’m glad the time we spent together was helpful. I’m impressed with your courage and your willingness to share. I also need to give credit to Suzanne Evans for the quote, “Make your mess your message.”

    We’re all a work in progress and we all have our own personal “messes.” Luckily we also have opportunities all around us for personal growth.

    Mary Kay

    1. Jessica says:

      April 8, 2010 at 8:47 pm (UTC -7 )

      Thanks for that clarification about the quote. It’s true, all the discomfort we feel is an opportunity in hiding.

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